Why....

Every Christmas, the wonder of what God did way back 2000 years ago, always hits me on Christmas Eve. In all of the billions of galaxies that this universe contains, why did He choose this one? Amongst the zillions of stars, why did He choose ours? And amongst the planets, why did He choose ours upon which to bestow life?

And then, amongst all of the great empires, kingdom, and nations on earth, why did God choose one of its smallest ones, Judea, to bring His Son into the world. And out of all of the cities and towns of that small kingdom, why was little insignificant Bethlehem chosen as the birthplace of the Messiah? And why not in the house of a rich, powerful, and successful person? Why does God allow His Son to be born and laid to rest in the feeding trough of a stable?

Because that’s how God, great and almighty, omnipotent and eternal, works.

God does what He wills, in ways and for reasons that remain a mystery to us. He makes promises and keeps them, so that we will benefit from His goodness, mercy, and grace.

He promises never again to destroy the world, even though the wickedness of humanity deserves it.

He promises to heal us, revive us, and restore us to His favor, even although we have deeply offended Him.

He promises to forgive us of our sins, our past mistakes, and deepest regrets, and make our contaminated souls clean before His eyes.

He promises to keep us when we listen to His Son, and never lose us.

He promises to bring His Son, Jesus, back into our world, so that we may seek His Coming and know that we are never alone.

And His promises begin with God’s choice to bring His Holy Son into the world, in a stable, in a tiny town, in a small kingdom, on a tiny planet orbiting a weak yellow sun, on the edge of the Milky Way, amongst gazillions of galaxies, in this almighty universe, which is contained and sustained by God’s thoughts alone.

Let us pray: Lord God, You have called all of us to be here because You want us to know that we are never alone in the universe. You want us to experience the freedom that faith brings when we give our hearts and lives to Jesus. Liberate us from the past; rejoice with us at this present time, and prepare us for that wonderful day when Christ shall return to this planet, to claim and keep us for His own. Both now and forever. Amen.

dont forget to finish ur antidoc...

hmmm...my written though  for the 3rd sunday of Advent..
frankly speaking, my Christmas mood is no so much as it use to be, and i m worried for that, well i admit i was absent for the 2 pass advent mass. But that wasn't the main issue.
Its more on my EXAMs... haih, i dont know why, this time the exam preassure really got me. So MUCH thing is in my mind, so many unwanted impulse are send to my amydala( a part of the brain that take k of ur emosion, i hope i m rite.. hhehehe) more on the pressure side. I try to convince myself that surely it be OK..
The EXAM is not as big as my God, i can face the Giant within me as i have a HEAD GIANT ...
but somehow, it still dont help much.. I try to get in some mood, be generous enough to spend some money, eat sushi to pampared myself, still the same no so much of effect..
well i figure it out, i m sick soully , have so much sin .. its a disease some how , it seen in the sacrament of penance. It wasnt a well plan confession, but a voice within '' just go n confess ur sin'' another though again
come to my mind, it will ware off .. the immunity of confession .. after that i m back to commit the same sin.

some how it is just a struggle. But I WENT... b4 that i pray '' help me to confess what is needed to be confess'', the others i surrender to HIM...
So i was there, receiving God ABSOLUTION trough the Sacrament of Penance.. and  thank God... I CAN RECEIVED Him.. in a state of Grace...
well, u know what was the thing that FP ( a very irritable parish priest that i m learning to accept his pro n con) i though he will preach about the theology of the BODY( see i know the pattern very well, its clear that it been the same issues over n over again... man desire= destroy the chastity of soul = n u cant see GoD ' only the pure one can see Him)
But this time he mentioned about STRUGGLE , its not easy to struggle not to sin , becoz we have a flesh desire that crying loud for the world around us. But we are not fighting the battle alone. You have bible, mass to attend, prayer, rosary ... to fight all this. and God is there to fight the battle with you, only one question is are you humble enough to allow Him to be in the front line and walk in obedience to His ORDER.. u KNOW like in the millitary.. u follow what ur head order..
so that was it that strike my very mind this time...
been thinking a lot after the confession, been praying asking God ''sustain me Lord, for i m weak and always LIMPING''
i dont know how long is this immunity but i hope it will be longer than before , if i connect it with my medical study, sin its like a culprit microbe that is so hard to eradicate, 3 things are the outcome, healing, relapsing n chronic ....

Healing IS always there, God is love n mercy, RUN TO HIM, HE is the remedy... he can eradicate the pathogen... give u some antibiotic, but make sure u follow the indication ... he said finish the course of antibiotic that is given... but usually we are so careless. when symptom ware off, when we start filling strong, we start missing our little pills... n that will make the little devil become resistance ... to the mighty treatment which lead to relapsing of our disease., lead to chronization of disease.. and we getting further n further from The Almighty ... see that is the little theory of sick person that forget to complete her medication..
well of coz its not one antibiotic, we have some immunoregulator... something that will strengthen You.. @READ ur BIBLE@ an important daily supplement..  a must...
Go to church, received Him In the state of Grace...this is like a vaccine... well more like a weekly vaccine.. as u know we need it so much .. becoz we are so much exposed to the WORLD....
Everyone fall, every minute every second , trust me even a saint is a sinner, if we are no a sinner then we wouldnt need God. our though is a vessel for sinning mind ... only the problem the urge to bring into reality.. when we put our sinning though into action that is the time we fall...
therefore keep our mind with some God SUPPLEMENT... and at least a way of pathogen entrance , at least decrease the incidence of invasion...
 so now i pray..
LORD help me, not to sin... if i sin let me run to ur sacrament of penance... so that i may prepare a worthy place for YoU in my heart.. a room that is clean that is worthy for a King.. especially this season of ADVENT.. knock my sense  to know the real meaning of PREPARE THY WAY...Amen

ps: FP said dont pray too long...but walk in obedience.. but hei FP.. i m praying so that i have a bit of obedience lah... what  lah u this... people pray too long oso u question what is he praying for.... it does make sense n it does knock my head... walk in obedience.. but some people do need some grace for obedience.. pray for Obedience.. sorry ahh FP... i dont dare to be so direct like u, all i can is reaching my bloggy only but somehow thx for the little tip especially when i have a student meeting with u i will say my 1 second prayer, or maybe should i ask grace.. God, help me in my meeting wid FP..frankly speaking  he can be very irritable... heheheh , Amen

children yesterday, children today, children tomorrow...

what will happen to him... in tym to cum???

http://www.youtube.com/user/russiatoday?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/112/a6z_ovi6ct8

i miss my moing....

its been  year.. U leave us..
Moing, I have lots to say.. but one word is that I MISS U.
Coming back last summer was different compare to all the other years.
You Dissappear in the Midst of  time and space.
I tried to be cool acting like its OK.. wearing the mask of JOVIAL heart
but my heart is weeping.. while looking at ur dolorous event.
i am angry, why you didn't gave me the chance to say GOODBYE...
Should I be grateful to God, where He allowed me to  saved my DRAMA OF EMOTION to myself..
I know, every time i come back for holiday, its not like I spent so much time with You..
but simply when you are around. it make things go nicely.. my mom have her gossip partner, i have you to back up in case of danger state, telling you the whole experiences of being bullied by the russian...
my last summer with you, didnt even gave me a warning that this might be my last time to see you get agitated with the violent character on the drama series..
its true as it have written, it come and rob you without giving you a SIGN
I recall in my younger days, you cooked sambal ikan bilis with a lots of onions... this is the only way i learn how to eat my portion of onion.You did it out of  LOVE, even cripple on ur wheelchair... U still insist to do all our favorite cuisine.
You pampered me very well.. it dont have to be so luxurious but it simply touch my heart when i recall it now and then.
We do have pride as human, sometime i think my  EGO, is inherited from you..
we had few arguements, we don't talk.. we don't see each other.. but deep down how we wish we can break this chain that became the boundry between us.
It make me smile, when i recall coming to you for some financial support..."moing, hutang rm5, rm10 sia mo p jalan2"... and u said " jangan lupa bayar.. if not i masuk buku 555" from your little shop
demand increase gradually ... as year pass..

 its true u taugh us what You OWE, You ought to RETURN it...
Blessing in Disguise, Nursing you during the tough time have been a bit of inspiration to what i'm today..
Even on ur wheelchair, U find things to ease ur pain by doing ur mini sundry shop...
At least U said, it will draw my mind away for once from this suffering. to lighten my burden by being occupy with all the sundry shop matter...MY LITTLE THERAPY BAH THIS .. u said...
A lot of funny and stupid stories being told...it sound LAME, i admit.. but it enough for us grandchildren.. to recall the little jokes from MOING TONDU...
All your grandchildren. have taste ur generous heart.. not much is given but the heart that is giving COUNT...
67 years of living, u had taste the worst and the best.. the sweet and the Bitter...
the joy and suffering..
sometime I still wonder why didnt you stay longer...
but somehow my bro told me, be grateful " Moing is freed from her worldly suffering"
Now... wherever you be after death, either a few steps toward the glory of God..or maybe in a place where we call PURGATORY.. somewhere for clearance..

 the little gift all i can offer UP is a prayer...
What else more greater beside a hopeful prayer.. for the departed Love one...
Till one day I believed You be among the saints watching us down.. looking at my cycle in turning mother to a super cool granny like u...
till one day we meet again in His KINGDOM...



in loving memory of LILY LOILIN GANAI..
one year have pass.. but ur fragrance of beauty still living among us....

Revelation 14:13
And I heard a voice from heaven saying, “Write this down: Blessed are those who die in the Lord from now on. Yes, says the Spirit, they are blessed indeed, for they will rest from their hard work; for their good deeds follow them!”

Dear Lord, 
its been a while. there is a song one moment without u, its like a hundreds years away .
But, its been more than a moment.
I just run out of  focus on You.
I want to ask You to forgive, but I never Repent.. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENT..
I keep on telling You, I'm tired. I need rest..Apparently its been like i been resting but still feeling tired.
Sometime I just want to yield at You. To tell You, I am exhausted with my Life.
I am BORED..
Its true I'M LUKEWARM.. neither am i cold or hot.
And in this realm, it is so cushy.
But to my accomplishment, its actually equal to nonfullfilment.
Sometime, I just be thankful that i did stray from You.
 Becoz the path that lead me to stray, seem enjoying.. i dont have much thing to give up..
Beside GIVING UP You..
though I keep on reminding myself that i didnt really gave You up...
Somehow, You are faithful God. It wont matter much...

The cross is the prove... WHO CARES SO MUCH...
my honest part, i call u, u answer, i ask u, u reply,  i knock, u never fail to open ...
 SO WHAT.. as it had been...  FAITH MANIPULATION
its doesnt matter... and this mould me to what I'm NOW..
I CAN SAY I M PRETTY ok... with this state..
but indeed.. some part of me yearning for You..
I dont know what to ask from You... NOW
there is so many things...

i call it NEEDS n DESIRES.
i get angry like a little boy, who get nothing when he asked for it..
and sprawling on the floor crying..
This is me.. And forget it later.. and carry on my lukewarm way..
Lord, I am tired of having the moment without You..
My pride ruling me: ITS OK.. it be Fine..
But Lord.. I do have everything.. But i find it Hard to breath with this artificial aid..
So difficult, to go trough so many medium before it reach to me.. it almost finish the real nutrients i need,
I need a real true precise Breath that come DIRECTLY from U.
Lord, am begging YOU.. PLEASE BRING ME BACK TO U...
like the Prodigal Child... I lose all Your properties.. I sold it out ... I enjoyed more than enough..
And now I'm an OUTCAST to my own Land...
I dont even know How to get back to YOU... and if I do.. Before I be able to reach Your door step.. i run stray again...
I admit I'm so weak in flesh..
Please HELP, Lord... TO GET BACK TO U..

IN YOUR NAME CHRIST...

AMEN

the prodigal""

  

Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.  Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 

temptation .... of the little basket

M writing this, becoz i m tempted to have the little basket.

EVERYONE have it.. its not a necessity but from the outer look.

I'm flabbergasted with it passion.. so appetence, so engaging..

its like calling me.. have it! have it! It stroke soothingly ..

And i became so limp, fall to my knee and here i'm giving a chance for myself to fall..

What was in the basket, its not looking so favorable as it seem like outside the basket...

and i m regretting it by now...

its turning to temptation of the werewolf....

P.S. temptation of the werewolf will cum out soon..

Life: what can u expect from it...
Everyone, is whining over life.
Sometime it seem to be sweet, it should be sweet. But come to my mind, why there is tear along the road side.
I wanted to complain everything bout it, but at the end something struck me .. n it really goes deep.

The path of life lead upward for the wise to keep him from going down to grave.
PROVERBS 15:24

This verse really did knock my head a bit.
Huh.. wisdom yah! from where can i get it.
again another wisdom needed for my curiosity.

MAN OF WISDOM WILL BECOME THE GREATEST MAN WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE BUT WITH OTHERS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.

Sometime life is just like a long road its either u run, u walk, u taking a drive or ride... ur destination is uncertainty.

Maybe it will lead u to a smooth highway, a rocky mountain.. whatever is the destination.. put ur faith in God...

in Him... THERE IS CERTAINTY.

FRIENDS...

I recall during my younger days, one of the special quote will be leave on my friends autographs is this...

Roses are Red,

The Skies are Blue,

I have a friend,

My friend is You.

It sound simple, but its a word that affirming we are grateful to have been grown in the bud of friends. Sometime it make me ponder, who is my best friend... Nah, i dont have a best friend.. maybe the BIG MAN ABOVE...

I am not the kind of person will be bother much about people around me...

But as I reflect, i do have few of them.. Thank God for that.

In the process of growing we need friends to build, to challenge, to argue, to hang out, to support us... We need friends to fill up the vacant space in our heart.

To all my friends, Thanks .. for being one...

Am not perfect, running a race of perfection....

Therefore, forgive me for my flaws...

As for friend that built me up, everyday i am turning to the person of who i'm ... for better or worst..opting for the best... A word of thankx...

For friend that been a challenge for me, i am ever proud to run the match with you.. becouse its telling me they is sumone better than me,

sound simple but hard to accomplish

 Don't sit like a taxi with your meter running waiting for a man to call you. Do I have to make you sign a blood oath? Every minute you sit at home waiting for Mr. Indifferent to call you loses you the opportunity at finding a man that is totally into you and will make you feel like the amazing woman that you are.

Draw Me Nearer...

Draw me nearer, Nearer to U..

When things around me have its up n down, when i been pin pointing u for all the stumble stone in my life, when i have reach my dead end, where there leave only wall , and all wall surround me, when it take the space of mine, when i start feeling suffocate, 

I lay my pride down, shouting back to U, CALLING U, 

Help me... i m sinking deep , don't let me drown death alone in these wall where air is absent, becoz as i ponder back, U r the source of air i breath....

Draw me back, Pick me up, This is not the first time or second or fifth time, but look not upon what i done but help me when i m helpless... 

Introductory

emoflavusdei...

it came to me as i m cramping dermato into my brain.

flavus mean fungal infection 

dei is God

emo is me... miguella

above all.... u know the song , bloging is a written thought.

 a BRIEF abt this page....