dont forget to finish ur antidoc...

hmmm...my written though  for the 3rd sunday of Advent..
frankly speaking, my Christmas mood is no so much as it use to be, and i m worried for that, well i admit i was absent for the 2 pass advent mass. But that wasn't the main issue.
Its more on my EXAMs... haih, i dont know why, this time the exam preassure really got me. So MUCH thing is in my mind, so many unwanted impulse are send to my amydala( a part of the brain that take k of ur emosion, i hope i m rite.. hhehehe) more on the pressure side. I try to convince myself that surely it be OK..
The EXAM is not as big as my God, i can face the Giant within me as i have a HEAD GIANT ...
but somehow, it still dont help much.. I try to get in some mood, be generous enough to spend some money, eat sushi to pampared myself, still the same no so much of effect..
well i figure it out, i m sick soully , have so much sin .. its a disease some how , it seen in the sacrament of penance. It wasnt a well plan confession, but a voice within '' just go n confess ur sin'' another though again
come to my mind, it will ware off .. the immunity of confession .. after that i m back to commit the same sin.

some how it is just a struggle. But I WENT... b4 that i pray '' help me to confess what is needed to be confess'', the others i surrender to HIM...
So i was there, receiving God ABSOLUTION trough the Sacrament of Penance.. and  thank God... I CAN RECEIVED Him.. in a state of Grace...
well, u know what was the thing that FP ( a very irritable parish priest that i m learning to accept his pro n con) i though he will preach about the theology of the BODY( see i know the pattern very well, its clear that it been the same issues over n over again... man desire= destroy the chastity of soul = n u cant see GoD ' only the pure one can see Him)
But this time he mentioned about STRUGGLE , its not easy to struggle not to sin , becoz we have a flesh desire that crying loud for the world around us. But we are not fighting the battle alone. You have bible, mass to attend, prayer, rosary ... to fight all this. and God is there to fight the battle with you, only one question is are you humble enough to allow Him to be in the front line and walk in obedience to His ORDER.. u KNOW like in the millitary.. u follow what ur head order..
so that was it that strike my very mind this time...
been thinking a lot after the confession, been praying asking God ''sustain me Lord, for i m weak and always LIMPING''
i dont know how long is this immunity but i hope it will be longer than before , if i connect it with my medical study, sin its like a culprit microbe that is so hard to eradicate, 3 things are the outcome, healing, relapsing n chronic ....

Healing IS always there, God is love n mercy, RUN TO HIM, HE is the remedy... he can eradicate the pathogen... give u some antibiotic, but make sure u follow the indication ... he said finish the course of antibiotic that is given... but usually we are so careless. when symptom ware off, when we start filling strong, we start missing our little pills... n that will make the little devil become resistance ... to the mighty treatment which lead to relapsing of our disease., lead to chronization of disease.. and we getting further n further from The Almighty ... see that is the little theory of sick person that forget to complete her medication..
well of coz its not one antibiotic, we have some immunoregulator... something that will strengthen You.. @READ ur BIBLE@ an important daily supplement..  a must...
Go to church, received Him In the state of Grace...this is like a vaccine... well more like a weekly vaccine.. as u know we need it so much .. becoz we are so much exposed to the WORLD....
Everyone fall, every minute every second , trust me even a saint is a sinner, if we are no a sinner then we wouldnt need God. our though is a vessel for sinning mind ... only the problem the urge to bring into reality.. when we put our sinning though into action that is the time we fall...
therefore keep our mind with some God SUPPLEMENT... and at least a way of pathogen entrance , at least decrease the incidence of invasion...
 so now i pray..
LORD help me, not to sin... if i sin let me run to ur sacrament of penance... so that i may prepare a worthy place for YoU in my heart.. a room that is clean that is worthy for a King.. especially this season of ADVENT.. knock my sense  to know the real meaning of PREPARE THY WAY...Amen

ps: FP said dont pray too long...but walk in obedience.. but hei FP.. i m praying so that i have a bit of obedience lah... what  lah u this... people pray too long oso u question what is he praying for.... it does make sense n it does knock my head... walk in obedience.. but some people do need some grace for obedience.. pray for Obedience.. sorry ahh FP... i dont dare to be so direct like u, all i can is reaching my bloggy only but somehow thx for the little tip especially when i have a student meeting with u i will say my 1 second prayer, or maybe should i ask grace.. God, help me in my meeting wid FP..frankly speaking  he can be very irritable... heheheh , Amen