its been a while. there is a song one moment without u, its like a hundreds years away .
But, its been more than a moment.
I just run out of focus on You.I want to ask You to forgive, but I never Repent.. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENT..
I keep on telling You, I'm tired. I need rest..Apparently its been like i been resting but still feeling tired.
Sometime I just want to yield at You. To tell You, I am exhausted with my Life.
I am BORED..
Its true I'M LUKEWARM.. neither am i cold or hot.
And in this realm, it is so cushy.
But to my accomplishment, its actually equal to nonfullfilment.
Sometime, I just be thankful that i did stray from You.
Becoz the path that lead me to stray, seem enjoying.. i dont have much thing to give up..
Beside GIVING UP You..
though I keep on reminding myself that i didnt really gave You up...
Somehow, You are faithful God. It wont matter much...
The cross is the prove... WHO CARES SO MUCH...
my honest part, i call u, u answer, i ask u, u reply, i knock, u never fail to open ...
SO WHAT.. as it had been... FAITH MANIPULATION
its doesnt matter... and this mould me to what I'm NOW..
I CAN SAY I M PRETTY ok... with this state..
but indeed.. some part of me yearning for You..
I dont know what to ask from You... NOW
there is so many things...
i get angry like a little boy, who get nothing when he asked for it..
and sprawling on the floor crying..
This is me.. And forget it later.. and carry on my lukewarm way..
Lord, I am tired of having the moment without You..
My pride ruling me: ITS OK.. it be Fine..
But Lord.. I do have everything.. But i find it Hard to breath with this artificial aid..
So difficult, to go trough so many medium before it reach to me.. it almost finish the real nutrients i need,
I need a real true precise Breath that come DIRECTLY from U.
Lord, am begging YOU.. PLEASE BRING ME BACK TO U...
like the Prodigal Child... I lose all Your properties.. I sold it out ... I enjoyed more than enough..
And now I'm an OUTCAST to my own Land...
I dont even know How to get back to YOU... and if I do.. Before I be able to reach Your door step.. i run stray again...
I admit I'm so weak in flesh..
Please HELP, Lord... TO GET BACK TO U..
IN YOUR NAME CHRIST...
AMEN
Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
2 Corinthians 3:16-18
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