i still miss him....stupid feeling that i cant stop thinking about him...
the more i refrain of thinking him the more intense the frequency of him in my though
i was thinking trough ... i never expected anything as i know nothing can happen between us...
its just an unofficial relationship to just so call for fun .. but i didnt know that it got to me badly
that it really break my heart when it come the time for me to let go ...'
i act as if it is easy to let go .. thinking i be strong enough to face it and wishing his happiness ..
but unlikely...
its not the first time it happen like this .. i always think its just a game .. but seem like a game that u r hoping to win badly ...
i didnt want to blame him.. because he have been giving the warning .... of impossibilities ..
but still thinking.. nah ... it just a game ...
now i m shouting back to myself ... a game a game that ended up eating yourself....
sigh.... now i wish i didnt know him ....
someone once remind me ".I DONT WANT U to MAKE URSELF AN IDIOT, WHEN U FALL DEEP, n CANNOT COME OUT..."
when this particular person told me this i was like .. thax for reminding me...
but too bad i met a person that shower me all the affection that i needed that gradually i sink deep n drowning ..... while thinking its just a game ...
so now .. still trying to forget about you .. try to delete every piece of u out of my mind ...
damn it is not that simple....
... i m being an idiot pathetic game that i created for myself....
to that someone... if u read this ... u just can read it trough but not need to take it seriously as it may related to you but its none of your concern for now....
one thing i realize in life is ..
when u try to be numb.. its useless u dont feel anything . its like a wooden furniture that u hit them they can feel it .. u clean them , they never feel it neither..
so u choose to have sensation.. and that the time u feel all the taste in the world
... sweet bitter sour salty....
lesson learnt !!!!
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