Achievement..6 years...

6 years of medical school.... oh yeah .. i m done...
its one of my biggest achievement in life.
2005 till 2011...
still fresh in my mind, the first day of school, the first stranger who came up n said a "hi"
The first russian teacher that yell at me... the first guy that i scolded...
its all sum up to a process of maturation...
today, 6 years i m done.. but, wait a minute.. it is just a beginning of every new things...
Frankly speaking, its start getting rusty, what i learned back in medical school.. as it all processed in Short Term Memory SPACE... need to refresh..refresh and refresh
But all i can said, six years, i met different kind of people. i learned a lot of virtues, i changed.
there is also a moment of darkness.. and a  moment of glory
competing to be competent, envy to those who are better..
Hate and Love is a mixture of emotion but at the end of the day, You learn to accept and forgive... thought the scars is not pretty.. u dont like it..
But there still one person was . and still with me till these day .. That is the BIG GUY FROM ABOVE...
every success begin with Him, Every failure, He strengthen me.
every cry, He cheer me up, Evey mistake, He show me the right way..
only one things .. I said " Dei Gracia"....
And for my pillars.. mom and dad... they are the proud parents... i dont blame them.. every parenst have a decent pride for every achievement of their offspring....
I m glad to have them, their supports, their advise, their prayers... always there to tell me to be a better person in this weary world..
To my groupmates.... Group 11... 6 years of journey, counting on each other everyday... without u all, i wont have made it.. thank u...

Six year Kursk .. its a phase of life.. that always be my bitter sweet memory that u love so much.. just like the dark chocolate.... too sweet is not fine. u will get Diabetis Mellitus...

-xoxo- miggy -

Hold my Hand.. JESUS..

My journey of Love ... wasn't easy..
I stumble and get slower DURING these journey.
Ample temptation. I'm weak, my flesh welcome those temptation like a hungry monster.
And these make me stop in search of You.

But one thing, He didn't want me to quit.
That is why, whole my heart want to tell you...
DEI GRACIA
When You send simple minded person to show me How You long for me... in this journey..
All I can say after my realization is that,
You wasn't leaving me and you never will but YOU are always there.

WAITING TO HOLD MY HAND AND CONTINUE THE JOURNEY OF LOVE.

my soul pleading everyday....

JESUS HOLD MY HAND
JESUS HEAL MY HEART
JESUS SAVE MY SOUL
COME AND STAY IN ME

AMEN...

dont forget to finish ur antidoc...

hmmm...my written though  for the 3rd sunday of Advent..
frankly speaking, my Christmas mood is no so much as it use to be, and i m worried for that, well i admit i was absent for the 2 pass advent mass. But that wasn't the main issue.
Its more on my EXAMs... haih, i dont know why, this time the exam preassure really got me. So MUCH thing is in my mind, so many unwanted impulse are send to my amydala( a part of the brain that take k of ur emosion, i hope i m rite.. hhehehe) more on the pressure side. I try to convince myself that surely it be OK..
The EXAM is not as big as my God, i can face the Giant within me as i have a HEAD GIANT ...
but somehow, it still dont help much.. I try to get in some mood, be generous enough to spend some money, eat sushi to pampared myself, still the same no so much of effect..
well i figure it out, i m sick soully , have so much sin .. its a disease some how , it seen in the sacrament of penance. It wasnt a well plan confession, but a voice within '' just go n confess ur sin'' another though again
come to my mind, it will ware off .. the immunity of confession .. after that i m back to commit the same sin.

some how it is just a struggle. But I WENT... b4 that i pray '' help me to confess what is needed to be confess'', the others i surrender to HIM...
So i was there, receiving God ABSOLUTION trough the Sacrament of Penance.. and  thank God... I CAN RECEIVED Him.. in a state of Grace...
well, u know what was the thing that FP ( a very irritable parish priest that i m learning to accept his pro n con) i though he will preach about the theology of the BODY( see i know the pattern very well, its clear that it been the same issues over n over again... man desire= destroy the chastity of soul = n u cant see GoD ' only the pure one can see Him)
But this time he mentioned about STRUGGLE , its not easy to struggle not to sin , becoz we have a flesh desire that crying loud for the world around us. But we are not fighting the battle alone. You have bible, mass to attend, prayer, rosary ... to fight all this. and God is there to fight the battle with you, only one question is are you humble enough to allow Him to be in the front line and walk in obedience to His ORDER.. u KNOW like in the millitary.. u follow what ur head order..
so that was it that strike my very mind this time...
been thinking a lot after the confession, been praying asking God ''sustain me Lord, for i m weak and always LIMPING''
i dont know how long is this immunity but i hope it will be longer than before , if i connect it with my medical study, sin its like a culprit microbe that is so hard to eradicate, 3 things are the outcome, healing, relapsing n chronic ....

Healing IS always there, God is love n mercy, RUN TO HIM, HE is the remedy... he can eradicate the pathogen... give u some antibiotic, but make sure u follow the indication ... he said finish the course of antibiotic that is given... but usually we are so careless. when symptom ware off, when we start filling strong, we start missing our little pills... n that will make the little devil become resistance ... to the mighty treatment which lead to relapsing of our disease., lead to chronization of disease.. and we getting further n further from The Almighty ... see that is the little theory of sick person that forget to complete her medication..
well of coz its not one antibiotic, we have some immunoregulator... something that will strengthen You.. @READ ur BIBLE@ an important daily supplement..  a must...
Go to church, received Him In the state of Grace...this is like a vaccine... well more like a weekly vaccine.. as u know we need it so much .. becoz we are so much exposed to the WORLD....
Everyone fall, every minute every second , trust me even a saint is a sinner, if we are no a sinner then we wouldnt need God. our though is a vessel for sinning mind ... only the problem the urge to bring into reality.. when we put our sinning though into action that is the time we fall...
therefore keep our mind with some God SUPPLEMENT... and at least a way of pathogen entrance , at least decrease the incidence of invasion...
 so now i pray..
LORD help me, not to sin... if i sin let me run to ur sacrament of penance... so that i may prepare a worthy place for YoU in my heart.. a room that is clean that is worthy for a King.. especially this season of ADVENT.. knock my sense  to know the real meaning of PREPARE THY WAY...Amen

ps: FP said dont pray too long...but walk in obedience.. but hei FP.. i m praying so that i have a bit of obedience lah... what  lah u this... people pray too long oso u question what is he praying for.... it does make sense n it does knock my head... walk in obedience.. but some people do need some grace for obedience.. pray for Obedience.. sorry ahh FP... i dont dare to be so direct like u, all i can is reaching my bloggy only but somehow thx for the little tip especially when i have a student meeting with u i will say my 1 second prayer, or maybe should i ask grace.. God, help me in my meeting wid FP..frankly speaking  he can be very irritable... heheheh , Amen